A happy marriage is a wonderful thing. I hope my children get married one day and discover how good it is to give their love to just one person for the whole of their lives; but will they live long enough? With AIDS on the increase the risk of their contracting HIV and AIDS also increases every year. Of course they might be sensible and avoid sex until they are married; there are some sensible people about but alas, in sexual matters, not that many! Very few people are virgins when they marry these days.
It will be a shock for many, I know, but even some Christians have sex before they are married. I know that by the number of Christians who have illegitimate children. You might think they are not very good Christians, but perhaps they just do not agree with you. After all, we Christians are used to disagreeing with each other, aren’t we?
We have to respect each other’s right to disagree. For that reason, I have great respect for the Roman Catholic Church and admire those of its leaders, including the Pope himself, who feel it is wrong to promote the use of condoms. I respect those who hold this view sincerely, but I must also ask the right to disagree with them. I believe we must offer people the choice to protect themselves and others by using a condom when they have sex. Of course abstinence is better. Of course we should be faithful in our marriages. But if someone will not take the best course then at least let us try and save their lives long enough for them to grow up emotionally and find a better way of living. Using a condom might just save another life.
The Roman Catholic Church does not approve the use of condoms even within a faithful marriage because it does not believe in artificial contraception of any kind (pasin bilong spesim pikinini) even in marriage. Other churches such as my own Anglican Church do permit the use of contraception and there are many Christian people in stable and faithful marriages who use condoms simply to prevent unwanted pregnancy. I see nothing wrong with that.
Where there is a risk of contracting HIV, a killer-virus, there are even better reasons to encourage the use of condoms to try and avoid infection. I teach abstinence in sexual behaviour outside marriage as a caring way to treat the people we love. I teach faithfulness in human relationships especially marriage. But if people disagree with my teaching or ignore it, and clearly many do, I still want them to survive.
Even within marriage using a condom is not an admission of guilt. It might just mean we love our partners and want to protect them.
I respect those who disagree with me, but we all have a right to our own opinion. If you insist on having sex with people you do not know, then for God’s sake I beg you please use a condom. It is not the best way, but at least you might live long enough to find that out.
+Peter Fox.
Bishop of Port Moresby.
